PP update

I have conclusive proof of what I thought was the case but which I really did not want to believe.


Khmers (and presumably other Asians) do actually stand on the toilet seat and squat to use western style toilets. I woke up the other morning went to use the facilities and was greeted by a sharp pain in the sensitive regions - the toilet seat had a great big crack in it (in it not on it) - I survived the incident and later challenged Da on how the seat became cracked. She showed me by hopping up there squatting on her heels - the heel pressure of course being in just the spot where the seat had cracked - I just shook my head and left her to it. There has been complete apathy to my appeals for a new seat - and I just cant be bothered to go find out where to buy one- not to mention the uproar that would surely greet the sight of a big tall Westerner parading through the streets of downtown Phnom Penh clutching a toilet seat - I guarantee there would be a parade of people following me. Tip if you ever get into this situation - a piece of cardboard placed on the seat works wonders.



Yesterday Da and her brothers took a one hour motorcycle ride out of PP to visit “daughter wife Papa before” (the daughter of their Father’s previous wife) - apparently some other family member there makes a living catching fresh water crab - so they joined him and she returned with a bag of live crabs - these vicious little bastards were about 3 inches across and pinched like crazy when recaptured as they made their escape from a plastic bowl and made their run fro freedom - I was tempted to let one go and follow him - where was the smartass little shit going to go being about half a mile from the river? However I continued the crab rodeo until I pointed out to Da that if we used a deeper bowl they would not escape - it’s a personal triumph whenever I prove myself to be something other than a brain dead neophyte. So the crabs remained in their bowl for about 3 hours happily (?) splashing and rattling each other. I assumed we were having crab for dinner - but I have learned to my cost that making assumptions here is not a wise thing. Da returned with a large plastic screw-top jar. She added about 3 inches of really foul smelling fish sauce - not the usual edible sort some sugar and some salt - then in went the live crabs - the top was secured - the jar shaken and the crab left to die and rot. For 2 weeks she informed me. Now I always thought that Buddhism taught mercy and kindness to animals but these guys went through a long slow death process - they were expired by the time I woke this morning. Now I knew that Somtam (as it is called in Thailand - god help me if I use the Thai word here and I don’t know the Khmer word) contained fermented crab or fermented shrimp - but the reality of how it is produced was somewhat disquieting - often it is better to be blissfully unaware of the origin of the best most delicious foods. Now I don’t know whether the entire crab body will be used or just the legs and pinchers - that’s what seems to be served but the live pickling kind of messed with my head - I don’t know about crustaceans but I believe that mammals pretty much always soil themselves in their death throes - thankfully this devil’s concoction will not be ready until after I am safely in England - blissfully unaware of the origins of the sausages I will be eating.

Woke up this morning to a roach staring at me from the curtain with its beady little eyes - a quick squirt of the toxic can took care of him - I should have added him to the crab mixture.

Subsequent enquiries determined that the legs and claws are removed upon retrieval from the fermenting mess and the bodies discarded - but serious questions remain.